It’s one thing for my mum to have a go at me and my dad, but it’s a whole different thing for her to have a go at others and then get offended when they actually retaliate. She thinks she needs to ‘put people in their place when their out of line’ but can’t take it back. So she sends texts messages, emails, calls them and abuses them and she can’t let it go. She always has to be right. And she drags the whole family into it while she’s at it. And some how it stresses me out. She doesn’t get the concept that you won’t get along with everyone in this world. And to ignore them. So excuse me while I sleep forever to avoid this bullshit.

The more people ask me about my cruise the more i feel sad. even though i laugh so much about it i actually want to curl up in a ball and cry. I didn’t come home refreshed, i didn’t come home ready to head back to work. i didn’t get many souvenirs. i hate the fact the main story from it is the hospital and medical stories, not the adventures on the island or onboard the ship. i hate how thats the first thing that comes to mind. i hate the fact i now have to wait ages until i can go on another holiday. this all just fucking sucks. and the more i go to work, and see people still on their holidays, checking in, exploring different countries the more i get angry. i saved for that cruise for over a year! i paid it off each week, i worked so hard for it, and it ended like it did. I’m just over it. why did my body have to give up on me then. ergh.

I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.
A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one.
(via thishaskilledme)